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SNOW SLEDGING IN SLIPPERY SNAIL SHELLS (try saying it fast after a few beers). Here we see some snail shells being made to travel faster than their original owners would ever have dreamed possible, helped by being highly polished with linseed oil. Gnomes see nothing ghoulish in employing the remains of old snail friends in this way, though they do leave the shells to weather for a winter or so before thinking of a use for them.

Gnomes enjoy any kind of race but they take sports much less seriously than we do. There is no such thing as a professional gnome athlete for instance. Their idea of training for a race is a quick limber up just beforehand. Snail racing is very popular but it is an acquired taste, we felt, a bit like watching English village cricket. Most of the time nothing very much happens at all, and when it does you have usually just nodded off.